She says we argue. I've always maintained that we debate, exchange ideas so as to challenge each other not to be lazy in our thinking. We don't agree on that either.
I know that I'm living my life differently than she'd like. We shock and amaze each other constantly. It's been difficult lately.
But as I watch my best friend struggle with her maternal relationship, this I know: my mother loves me unconditionally. Even as she watches me do things that she disapproves of, she's there. Maybe she can't be my confidant, support me in total agreement and praise, but she's still there telling me she loves me and wanting to know what's happening with me. No matter how many times I disappoint her, she's still there wanting to know.
Tomorrow is your birthday, mom. I'm sending you a card of love instead of humor this year. Not because of the difficult things life has done to you since dad died. Not because I think you're sad and need to feel a daughter's love. But because I want to tell you how much I love and value you - even as we live different lives we don't always understand.
I've admired you, mimiced you, proudly proclaimed bits of wisdom you gave me, and still, though you disagree, I enjoy debating with you and having my theories challenged because I respect your sharp mind.
I am who I am. Though I loved being called Little Creo and Bear Cat Jr., and it's hard feeling like I'm different from you, thank you for always being interested. Thank you for always loving me.
I love you, mom.
Happy Birthday.
